I have demons in me.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
