If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
