do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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