Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
