her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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