I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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