She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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