someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It's never too late to be topless.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
