if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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