I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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