is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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