The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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