That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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