drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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