You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
