i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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