I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I could fuck to npr.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
