She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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