I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
