I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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