I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
