And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
