# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
