"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
