u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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