halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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