Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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