Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
