dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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