I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
