There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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