Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
