Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
