Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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