did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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