About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
