I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
