We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
