I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
