He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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