im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
no, he came in my armpit
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
