i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
