Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
