I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
