No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
