I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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