you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
