You're a womanizer and a bitch.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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