Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
