I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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