AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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