So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm just crazy horny about you
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Randomize
