WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
then he tried to convert me to islam
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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